Becoming the infinte me
I am so humbled and inspired to announce that fall 2019 marks the 10th anniversary of The Infinite U! I am filled with immense gratitude for the many families whose lives I’ve had the privilege to touch and who have deeply touched me in return. All the families who have welcomed me into their homes or have come to my office, trusted me with their children, and opened their hearts to greater possibility. All the young people who’ve attended our summer camps, grown their confidence, tried new things, and navigated the journey of making new friends. All the teens and tweens who have attended our social groups, discovered what it means to belong and to be connected to others in a community founded on mutual respect.
Little did I know 10 years ago when I named the seed of my vision “The Infinite U,” that it was setting in motion my own journey toward discovering the infinite me. I knew I was passionate about supporting sensitive, gentle, empathic young people to remain connected or to restore connection to the fullest expression of their whole selves. It was clear to me that these young people would help further the much needed healing and harmony on this planet. What I hadn’t quite realized though, is that I, too, would be restored to wholeness through this journey.
I spent so much of my life discounting or questioning my value as a human. In the face of my difference, I felt deeply flawed, broken, way too sensitive for this bizarre planet Earth. Ironically, even with all my education, training and experience, the one thing my work requires most from me is to be “me.” Real, gentle, sensitive, empathetic, and sometimes fierce.
Throughout the last decade of doing this work, I’ve come to accept and embrace my non-neurotypicalness. There’s just no denying it and I finally feel proud of how my brain and nervous system operate. I see now how feeling shame for being different for so long made it more difficult for me to accept other ways that I’m different, too. Like finding the courage to let go of my straight identity and accept that I’m queer. Like being willing to admit that the box “woman” feels way too small for me and accept that I’m non-binary. That opening up my gender identity finally gives me enough room to be all of me, that I am as much masculine as I am feminine, and that the name Nic is way more fitting than Nicole.
This process of becoming the infinite me has been the most sacred, terrifying, courageous, and gratifying experience all at once. It has required me to embrace my difference, rather than seek to make it-to make me- disappear. And now I not only accept this truth for my clients, but for me as well: what the world needs most is for us all to be our unique, individual, whole selves.
As we celebrate 10 years of The Infinite U, I encourage you to reflect on the ways that your-or your family’s neurodivergence has been an opportunity for you to accept more of your own individuality and uniqueness. Give yourself permission to honor yourself and them, and even share in a moment of connection about what you notice.
May we continue together on this journey of letting go and becoming our infinite selves, knowing that it is what the world needs most to heal and move forward.
From my heart to yours,
Nic
(they/them)
