The Infinite U

I Am No Different Than You

by Nicole Calvano, MA, LPCC, E-RYT 200
December 20, 2018

Have you ever noticed that while we are kind, caring, and thoughtful to others, we often say really mean, critical, and punishing things to ourselves that we wouldn't dare say to another? Others make a mistake, and we find patience and forgiveness. We make a mistake, and we doom ourselves to failure, punishment, even self-sacrifice. We trick ourselves into believing that we need to bastardize ourselves in order to grow, learn, be our best. We find clever ways of excluding ourselves and think we are being humble when we reject compliments and appreciation.

​Today, I’m instigating a new paradigm. I’m upleveling the well known message “do to others as you would have them do to you," and I’m suggesting this: "do to you as you do to others."

It is time we honor our innate, immeasurable value, no matter what messages we may receive from society, culture, religious institutions, family of origin, schools, etc telling us otherwise.

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How Changing My Mindset Has Changed My Life

by Nicole Calvano, MA, LPCC, E-RYT 200

December 11, 2017

For a lot of my life, I believed that my joy was at the whim of just about every circumstance, person, or situation outside of me. When it arrived, I both clung to it and resisted it. I desperately wanted it, but I was so stricken with fear, convinced it was only a matter of time before the “other shoe would drop.” Joy was fleeting, and when it left, it left behind a trail of disappointment and loss.

By my mid 20s, I can remember having a firm “talking to” with the Universe: “If having means it’s just gonna disappear or be taken away, then I don’t want anything from you!” I told the Universe to shove it. If no joy meant no pain, then sign me up. I was done living this way.

As time went on, I experienced emptiness, lack, and isolation as constant companions. I struggled with depression and anxiety. I also began to feel burdened by immense physical pain. In short, I was miserable. My bargain with the Universe wasn’t working out the way I had imagined. It certainly wasn’t helping me develop the ability to better navigate the day-to-day, in fact, it brought forth even more pain and suffering.

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The Courage To Be Different

by Nicole Calvano, MA, LPCC, E-RYT 200

November 11, 2017

At 5 years old, my family joined a swim club. I “decided” that I knew how to swim and insisted on taking the swim test, which meant I would have to swim all the way to the deep end. Despite my mom’s insistence that I didn’t know how to swim, I convinced her and the life guard to let me try. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I couldn’t do it. With the life guard’s help, I got out of the pool, but not without making a brazen declaration: “By the time the summer ends, not only will I pass the swim test, but I will also jump off the high diving board!” Despite the seeming outrageousness of my declaration, before Labor Day that season, wearing my very official “deep end certified bracelet,” I climbed the stairs of the diving board, looked out at the lifeguards, waved to my mom, and leapt into the air, falling 10 feet before splash landing.

That same bold, brave, and stubborn kid also grew up believing that she was "too serious and too sensitive," that there was something inherently wrong with her that needed to be "fixed."

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